revolution, shmevolution

Jamie Oliver, eff you.

I just watched two minutes of "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution" and I am revolted. I agree with this person. But let me up the discontent.

Do not call grown women "girls." Don't call the head cook a "lunch lady" and say you "love these girls." They're old enough to be your mother or more, and you need to show them respect.

Learn to show respect in general, asshat. Stop the self-righteous crap. Stop saying things like "Pizza for breakfast and chicken nuggets for lunch. Welcome to America."

Here are the problems with that statement. First, all Americans do not eat that way so stop being an ignorant bigot - Alice Waters is very American as well, thanks. Second, Brits don't eat any better, and their food tastes worse. Third, England has an obesity epidemic as well, so why not preach where people don't think you sound like a moron, with your pretentiously mussed hair? Fourth, you are portly, Jamie Oliver. If Eva Longoria wants to give nutrition advice, I would listen to her because she's lean. You have a belly that would turn Jenny on. Fifth, our entire food system is on its head because of whackadoo subsidies that make fast food and crap considerably cheaper than healthier food. Poor people don't have arugula cash (says the woman who just ate rice and beans, again).

Oh, I can go on and on, and maybe I just caught an awful couple of minutes. But anybody who comes in and disrespects Head Cook Alice - well, off with his head. Asshat.

I know that I'm a food elitist. Absolutely. I choose local, organic foods because I know they make me feel better, and I break down for "junk" only rarely. I am obsessive about my nutritional choices. But I don't expect or demand that of others. No revolution can be crammed down other people's throats.

We need a food revolution, but this? THIS is not how to do it, Jamie Oliver. You will just divide our country further, and I hope they tar and feather you.

We do need a food revolution in our country, but THIS is most certainly not it.